In the Poetry class, after reading several poems, we had to write our own one, according the subject we choose. In my case, I decided to write about a revelation or a change of state.
Never
thought I could feel this way, swallowed by pain and betrayal.
Myself is
not how I remember, a fragile memory of a broken lady.
Waiting for
someone to come and help her, after being deceived by the words of love
Telling
herself a couple of times, how foolish she was.
As I walk though the garden, full of colors and promises, I ask to you, do you remember
all the lies you proposed?
Only wanted
the feeling of be love, care and someone to tell me how special I was.
But with
every step I make, I instantly understand how things really are.
Another me,
in front of me. Watching herself, studying all the movements she makes.
The wind
erase her for a minute, both I close my eyes and take a deep breath,
Seing a new
girl, smiling at me, without any hint of colorless, remembering me how things
really are.
No more
crying, no more hiding. Just me and myself, don’t need anybody else.
I try to
close the chapter, although I know the hole still will be there, but now, buried.
Amazing work Florencia. You´ve written a great narrative poem, since it seems to be telling a story of rebirth. You´ve made great use of vocabulary and language structures and the result is a very personal experience being told beautifully in the shape of a poem.
ResponderEliminarThe title is also very powerful and it anticipates the reader what the poem will be about.
Some of the shortest phrases are the strongest. "Another me, in front of me." for example, works really well.
A correction:
Stanza 2: "Only wanted the feeling of love" or "Only wanted the feeling of being loved" would be the right forms.
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